Having completed the take home, and having decided that a read over isn’t neccesary (it’s not an essay, it’s an exam). 6500 words of an exam, actually. I’m about to drop it off at the philosophy department, after which I will have no excuse to be on the computer for the rest of the day. Rather, I should be studying for philosophy of Science tommorow at 3:30. I think it’s still possible that I could do well on this exam, which I would like to because I’ve gotten two A’s and an A- so far. Some sort of decent 85~ range grade is certainly possible. The real motivation is, however, the fact that as of 7 pm tommorow night, I will be finished this term’s worth of classes, and only a lowly french history course will seperate me from Undergraduate completion.
There is a certain satisfaction to completing in four years, or only slightly longer. Many amoung us have embraced the “five year plan” (or in Ashley’s case, the six year shebang!). In my case, I never expected to finish so quickly, even at the beginning of this year I had no idea I would graduate. (FIVE the years of the five year plan, FOUR the years we did it in).
Graduation, however, is not really about school or exams or classes at all, but rather their absence, or lack. At the beginning of the year, when I realized I would graduate, I was petrified. What will give structure (meaning?) to my life if I don’t have arbitrary exams papers and classes to use up my time? Oddly, the prospect of working, and earning money, has become exceedingly appealing to me (largely because the job I’m planning on seems quite good).
Graduate school is certainly something to look forward to, but almost as much is the prospect of moving away. Moving away from old friends, old problems, family, normalcy, and the oppertunity to establish oneself somewhere where one has never been, are all very appealing to me. Knowing me though, I’ll probably fuck it up.
As for the summer, there is a girl I have my eye on. I hope something happens between us, as she seems exceedingly intelligent/excellent/attractive, at least from the little I know her at present. I don’t think there would be anything wrong with beginning a relationship knowing I will be leaving in four months or so. Fairly rare for relationships to last that long anyway. And even if it did, and it was something to be depressed about upon departing, it would certainly be a welcome change to feel sad for the lack of something good, rather than for the proximity of great ill.
And I am off to the Philosophy department. (One last time…)
Only a Northern Song 